uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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