ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
