you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
