Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
