I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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