Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
