At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
