i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
