I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
