I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
