He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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