What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Welp...herpes.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
