You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
