Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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