Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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