I seem to have left my pride at pride
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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