well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
