i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I wear drunk well.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
