Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
