His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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