she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
