i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I want a musical about memes.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
