Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
