We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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