I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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