Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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