I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
