I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
