Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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