I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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