I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
