Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
