Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
