dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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