Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
