I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i out mim tonsoeep
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