I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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