so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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