bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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