I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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