Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
