Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
