they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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