Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
