3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
