I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
