pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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