There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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