Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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