I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
